Below are the 14 most recent journal entries recorded in zinquox's LiveJournal:

Monday, December 13th, 2004
1:12 am	Christmas and New Years First I just want to send the best of wishes to my friend Soloman and his family becasue he has been called up and is leaving for Alabama for three months then it's off to Kuwait for three months and then its a 18 mounth tour of duty in Iraq, I hope he makes it through O.K. best of luck Sol, you crazy pineapple. Now that I've opened with that small bit of depressing news let me move on to something slightly more depressing. It's pretty sad that every year around this time, Christmas and New Years to be exact, I always get really depressed and this year is no different. No matter how many friends you have, and no matter how big your family is, these days are just nothing if you don't have someone special to share them with, and by special, I mean really special. I've always loved hanging with my friends on New Years eve, but when the ball finally drops and the year changes and the clock strikes midnight I want to be any where else but with my friends. I hate to see them all kissing and being merry. I never have that and this year is looking like it's just going to shape up into another one of those years. Maybe this year I'll just go outside and look at the stars as they witness yet another new year in their long, long lives. That's all for now. (Comment on this)
Wednesday, December 8th, 2004
12:27 pm	WHOA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Whoa what's a live journal...it's been a while since I updated my LJ but I think I will do so now...well technically I already started but hey you know we ain't all perfect. Some of us are just closer then others. So what to udate all of you about, this would probly be easier if I went back and looked at what I had previously written but since I am too much of a shmuck to do that I guess I will just ramble on for a little while. I know that at one point and time I did list all of the women in my life so that it would not be too confusing when I just started talking about reandom women and everyone would think that I'm some sort of player, casue that is probly the farthest from the truth when it comes to me as you could possibly get. So i figure I can update you on some new names that may or may not pop up from time to time. These people are: Hannah: Originally a friend of my friend Andy she is now also a friend of mine, I see her at college on occasion and when Monday nights are up and running on a regualar basis. Sarah-Kate: Hannah's younger sister who sometimes joins her sister on Monday nights. Ashley: A co-worker whom I liked but don't anymore becasue she likes to play too many head games and doesn't consider others when she does this.\ Leah: An old friend from school she was a couple grades behind me in high school but now I see her every week on campus and talk to her quite regularly. Brandy: Brandy is a new friend whom I met at college this semester, she is quite fond of sleeping in my old chair and spends a lot of time with leah and I in the lounge between classes. As far as other things going on in my life at the moment, I've been holding my job steady now for the past 10 mounths, I officially started on February 9 and still have the job, it's the longest that I've ever held a job for (I honestly can't believe that I haven't been drivin to quite or been fired yet.) People are doing Spanish over me right now it's kind of funny 'cause I don't know any Spanish so I suppose that it's all Greek to me which is funny but predictable. Well I gotta go for now will update soon I promise. (Comment on this)
Sunday, February 15th, 2004
10:33 pm	50 First Dates...or something like it. So let me start off by thanking both Meghann and Doug once again for treating me to a movie tonight. Although maybe the subject of the movie wasn't the greatest for me right now I did very much enjoy the movie. In case you didn't figure it out from the title we went to see 50 First Dates, the new Adam Sandler, Drew Berrymore flick. All in all I have to give it two thumbs up, but then again if I gave it three it would just bee strange. Anyhow, moving on, there were some things in the movie that I guess I just really felt that I could relate to. A lot of things that I feel towords Alison and a lot of things that I feel just in general. Speaking of Alison, I've had a few problems the last few days, partly because it was Valentine's day and partly because, well partly because I just plain miss her. A lot of you may think that I am being stupid going after her the way I do, I mean she has never shown any feelings towords me since we first met, well she may have but I can't pick up on signs if they are thrust upon me, but non-the-less I must say that I just keep going back. Most people would call me a stupid idiot for doing this, and you know what, let them believe what they want, I know that the reason that I do this is because I love her. Now on a more personal note, just tonight Meghann said I love you as I was leaving her place, she tells me that a lot, and I know that she means it as a friend. The thing is that I know I've said it back to her before as a friend, and it generally is really easy for me to say it as a friend, but the problem is that just recently I love you took on a whole new meaning for me, so Meghann if you read this please do not be mad if I don't say I love you back, at least not until something happens between Alison and I. That's the last thing I'm going to talk about, I really kind of have to let Alison come talk to me on her own terms, but I'm so afraid of losing her sometime in the process, and I know that you are all thinking if it's ment to be then it will happen, well as much as I would like to believe that fate works with out us pushing it along, it is also really hard for me to just stand by and do nothing, so I am going to try to not e-mail her, call her, or stop by her place for a couple of days, we'll see how well I do with leaving this in her hands. I think that I still am going to have to make the next move eventually, but lets see if I can give her a couple days to think. Well that's all I've got to say for now...talk later. Current Mood: Lovelorn Current Music: Bryan Adams - (Everything I do) I do it for You (Comment on this)
10:10 am	Mmmmmm...Sunday.... Well here it is another Sunday...not much different about this one then any in the past really...although I am going to point out at this time that I will not be using the enter key all week just to piss Tim off... Ok so I lied but I am Going to use it in wie- rd places just to mess with him. It's still early in the morning so I haven't really done much today...I woke up, talked with Cindy before she went to bed and then came home...where I found my nephew waiting for me. It's great fun to have him around and all, but I'm glad that I am leaving sometime later none-the-less. I'll probly be going over to Meghann's house today...that is if she ever wakes up. She yelled at me yesterday for not being up at 9:30 in the morning and so I called her this morning about that time and about 10:00 and she wasn't up for either call...now granted I suppose she may be at church, but last time I knew she haden't found a church she liked in the area...however due to recent events in her life she may very well have just settled on what was avalible...I would go into greater detail here but I think that it's really not my place to announce her problems all over the internet, and even less appropriate when I don't know all of the details, but non-the-less it's probly an event that would definatly send someone to church who hadn't been there in awhile...then again her Daughter is in Conn. for the weekend so she could be in bed with her fiancee...that's always a possibility too. Well that's all for now oh and Tim here's a few more enters for you. Everyone else have a nice day and sorry about the whole enter thing...you have to know Tim to understand why doing that would be a funny thing to do. Current Mood: apathetic Current Music: Screaming Nephew...not a new band (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Wednesday, February 11th, 2004
4:46 pm	Did anyone catch the licence plate of that day? Wow was yesterday just one of THE most interesting days ever in my life...and it wasn't all good either. Lets start with my Dad. Yesterday was his birthday..YEAH! Yeah well except that he went to his eye docotr's funeral yesterday, then on top of that he went to turn on the stero down stairs that's in a cabinet and bumbed the bad side of his face and had to go to the emergency room. Nothing really bad had happened, he didn't knock any plates loose or anything but he was in a lot of pain and very tired by the time he came home. What a way to spend a birthday huh? I mean it was like fate said Good Morning Mark, how are you having a happy birthday...here you go have a shitty one now. I mean what more does my dad really need. He's been on and off depressed ever since the accident and then one of the Doctors that he actually trusts goes and kills himself...yeah that's good for someone who is depressed. On top of all of that I didn't even find out that he had gone to the ER until almost quarter till 8 and it happened around 4. I was at work and no one could get a hold of me...then I went to Alison's. That's where the second part of my excitment comes in. I had written her the letter and had the CD all ready to go. I brought it with me to work and left it in my truck. After work I swung by her place, knocked, and she came and answered the door shouting at her father over the phone. When she was finished she told me that she was having a bad day and that she was having problems with her taxes. So I asked her to not read the letter until today, 'cause I didn't want her to be upset before she started reading it. Well then her friend John called...yes Tim this happens to be the same John that you have introduced me to at Flubb's but I didn't know this until he showed up, well anyway she told him what was going on and he asked if he could stop by before he went to his class a CCV. Well while we were waiting for John to show up, Alison took out a Bud Lite...I know I can't believe she drinks it either, and started drinking, now Alison is a bit of a light weight and it only really takes her two beers to get a little tipsy, but then it takes at least 8 more before she gets really drunk, well moving on by the time that John got there she was just finishing up her first and getting ready to start her second. She was happy and a little tipsy but good non-the-less. Well by the time that John left she was starting her third beer, but she was upset 'cause John had suggested that she have some BK and now she really wanted some but didn't want to drive to go get it, so I told her I would...well then she realised that she did not have that much beer left and wanted more, but did not have enough money on her to give me some to buy her that too, so she asked if I would bring her to the bank then we could get BK and pick up some beer, I agreed so we got all bundled up and went out in the cold, we went to the bank then BK then to the Beverage store, where I went in expecting to get carded for the first time...the woman didn't card me...I was sort of upset...but the other thing that happaned was that I was supposed to be getting her bud light and for some reason I had a major brain fart and bought her budwiser...now is you ask me there isn't much of a difference they're both crap...but to her there is a mjor difference, unfortunatly she didn't notice, nor did I until later in the evenning. I offered to bring it back but she said that it was OK. Well between BK and the beverage store which are about 1 min from each other driving I asked her how her and Kyle were doing and a=you know what she said...she said they had broken up! When I asked why she stated because he was a jerk...I was happy, but now that she was sobbering up a little I wanted her to read the later when we got back while I was there. So we got backed and I asked her to read the letter now and she said "Right now?" and I said well you can eat first, so we ate and watched the last part of Save the Last Dance, and when she was finished I gave her the letter to read...she was shocked that it was three and a half pages long, but read it anyway...she was very silent while reading the whole thing and the whole time my heart was trying to beat itself out of my chest. When she was finsihed she said wow that was a lot all at once, I apologized for telling her everything at once, and then asked her if she was mad at me, she wasn't and we talked for awhile, but not really about the letter, then her roommate came home we all talked for a little while and then I said I was going to leave, I asked her if she would walk me to the door and she did. When we got to her front door (it's down stairs and the apartment is upstairs) I told her again some of the things that I said in the letter and hugged her...then I kissed her on the forhead...I told her a few more things from the letter again...the same ones as a matter of fact, I ran my finger down her cheek and under her chin telling her how beautiful she was and really wanted to kiss her on the lips but in good conscience couldn't 'cause I knew that she was a little drunk. So I kissed her on the forehead again gave her a couple more hugs and told her the same thing that I had been telling her (if you havn't figured out what it was that I was saying...then I'm sorry for you and your ignorance when it comes to things like this.) I walked out the door and came home, then a little while later my parents came home and I found out about Dad. Well that about covers my day yesterday, today has been uneventful so far but hey there's still a lot of time left. Well talk to you all later. Current Mood: restless Current Music: Bryan Adams - (Everything I do) I do it for you. (2 Comments |Comment on this)
4:46 pm	Places I've been create your own visited states map Kind of strange is it not? (Comment on this)
Monday, February 9th, 2004
5:39 pm	"Monday, Monday...." Don't you all just love Monday's? I know that I do...not really though. I started my job today...not bad, definatly earning my money though. My hands are pretty raw and my feet are sore, but other then that I'm good. The weekend was long to say the least. Saturday afternoon I went to Cindy's and met up with Andy and Kris and went to Vergennes (Spelling? I don't know.) Then the rest of the weekend was spent with the SNC. Katje baked me a pair of cakes and everyone sang happy birthday to me. then Sunday I spent most of the day at Andy's. I had a blast. Funny thing happened on Friday though that I did not know about until today. Well it's really not funny...as a matter of fact it really is kind of sad. My parents got into a car accident a couple of months ago, and my dad's eye was beat up pretty bad. He's recovering and his eye doctor was Dr. Piper. Well last Fridat Dr. Piper killed himself...yeah how's that for a shock, my Dad's eye doctor killed himself. Apparently Friday his wife served him with divorce papers and that night he killed himself. Well that's really all for now...oh and a final note it looks as if I will be able to get Alison her letter and CD tommorow after I get out of work. Current Mood: content Current Music: none (Comment on this)
Saturday, February 7th, 2004
11:58 am	Saturday...or something like it So here I am up and awake this morning, and preparing to finally celebrate my birthday...sort of. I'm not going to be doing the whole getting totally trashed thing this weekend, but I will be spending the better part of my weekend with friends doing stuff I like to do. It occured to me this morning as I was lying in bed that I mention a lot of girls names when writting these things and people might be thinking...wow this guy is such a player...well as much as I would like that to be true (not really actually I'm all about relationships and not one night stands) it's not. So for everyone's convinence here is a list of the Girls names that I use most often and what they are to me. They will be in alphabetical order. Alison - Alison is the girl of my dreams, and I love her with all of my heart. The problem is that I don't know how she feels about me and this causes much angst in my life. It's something I try to deal with correctly, but probly always don't. I will talk about her the most I'm sure. Candy - Candy is a friend that is part of "The Saturday Night Crew (SNC)" once I thought I might have had a thing for her, but I was mistaken. Cheyenne - Cheyenne is my niece. Cindy - Cindy is Katje's mom. She is also owner of the house where the SNC usually meets. Gabby - Gabby is Meghann's daughter. Jayme - Jayme is my friend Andy's bride-to-be. Katje - Katje is someone who I have known for a few years now. I one point I had a major crush on her, but that has since gone by the wayside. We are friends but we have our moments where we get mad at each other and actually stopped talking for a couple of mounths. Right now I am a morale supporter of her and her effort to get the guy she is aiming for. Katrina - Katrina is a friend from high school whom I keep in touch with online, but we never see each other when she comes back from college. She is the one who showed me Livejournal.com and we tend to lend morale support to each other. Kayla - Kayla and I go waaaaaaaayyyyyyyyy back...at least 15 years...we've known each other since Kindergarten. She attends college in Australlia and at one point I had a major thing for her but now she is like a sister to me and I am like a brother to her. Meghann - Meghann is a friend whom I met at school. She's really into Lord of the Rings stuff and is going to be getting married soon. She is also pregnant with her second child. Shawna - Shawna is someone I'd like to forget...she was my first real relationship and it only lasted a week, ever since then we've tried to be friends, but aren't really, it doesn't help that I don't particullary care for her husband, although I do believe that he could have done better then her. Tess - Tess was a friend of mine in high school who broke my heart and I got very pissed at. We haven't really talked since graduation so any mention of her will probly be a rememberance. I've since wanted to forgive her, but haven't see her in awhile and now that she is in Europe I probly won't until our like 25th reunion. Well that about covers all the women. Maybe sometime soon I will go over all the guys so that maybe you can better understand when I bitch and complain (which I am very good at). Well bye for now. Ta Ta and all that good stuff too. Current Mood: mischievous Current Music: Soccer Game (Comment on this)
11:57 am	*HUGS* TOTAL! give zinquox more *HUGS* Get hugs of your own (Comment on this)
Friday, February 6th, 2004
10:58 pm	werid So tonight was definatly strange...I went out and had a drink with my Sister and Parents...that was just totally strange. I'm not drunk or anything I only had one beer and two Ice's so it wasn't that bad. It was just strange to be sitting at a bar with the 'rents. So that whole thing with writting that letter didn't happen today...so maybe it will happen tomarrow, any which way that I look at it I have to write it this weekend I will not be up to writting it next week after work, and I have to have it done before Valentine's Day, and actually before the day before that 'cause Alison is going to Boston to her Aunt's wedding. I talked to Meghann today for the first time all week, but I forgot to ask her to watch Joan of Arcadia for me, oh well I hope she watched it. I also forgot to tell her that we need to talk. It's just so strange 'cause at school she would do that whole innocent flirting thing with me, and she'll do it at her house when Doug IS around, but she won't do it at her house when he is not around. It kind of bothers me because I know it makes him a little on edge and I think that sometimes she does it just to get a reaction out of him, and I don't want to be used as a tool like that. Next time I talk to her I will tell her I'm sure she'll understand, and either stop flirting with me altogether, or flirt with me a little more when Doug is not around considering I never see her at school, 'cause I'm not going this semester. Well it's off to Dream Land for me where I hope to see Alison again. It seems that I see her more in my dreams then I do in real life anymore...oh well goodnight to all and may you dream a little dream of happiness tonight. Current Mood: hopeful Current Music: The Verve Pipe - Colorful (Comment on this)
9:32 am	Stuff So I just woke up and wandered down stairs to find out that I get to spend the better part of the daylight hours shovling...I hate snow and I hate Vermont...well maybe not Vermont it is a relativly nice place, but the fact remains that it is very cold up here and for once I would like to celebrate a birthday beyond my 5th in a place that is warm and not snowy-slushy. Well now that I am through complaing about something I have no control over let me talk about something that I probly don't have any real control over either. I said last night that I would talk about this letter that I wanted to give to Alison so here goes... A few days ago I decided that I wanted to write a letter to Alison talkingabout somethings that I've wanted to talk to her about for awhile...things like how I want to know why she seems to be avoiding me a little bit, how I fell about her, and possibly how she fells about me. I also wanted to let her know about Valentine's day. See last year her and I were not going out around Valentine's Day just like we aren't this year, but last year I went and spent $80 dollars on her having roses delivered to her house... oh and a little stuffed animal too. Well last year a co-worker tried pleading with her to give me a chance and told her how much I had spent on her, with which she replied, "Money doesn't equal love." Now I wholeheartaly believe this but I still don't feel bad for spending all that money on her because even though money doesn't equal love, thoughts of love to fit in the equation and that's what it was really all about, anyways back to the present, I thought about getting her flowers again this year, but she's going to be in Boston for the whole seekend 'cause her aunt is getting married. Not to mention I really don't have the money to spend this year either. What I want to do though is teller what I was thinking about doing. See I was going to get her two doezen (24) roses. There was going to be one rose for each Valentine's Day she's been alive, that would cover 21 of them. (She's only twenty and her birthday isn't until June, but if you think about it, it will be her 21st Valentine's Day on this earth.) I was going to give her one rose for each year that we have known each other on Valentine's Day that would cover two more for a grand total of 23, and I was going to give her one rose, the last rose, the most important rose, becasue I love her. Now personally I thought that was rather sweet. I'll probly end up telling her that in the letter and I will probly do a little doddle-esque drawing of two dozen roses to go with it, but you know. I'm still wondering what exactly I'm going to say in the letter. I know I want to tell her that I was dissapointed...not angry, but dissappointed that I didn't not receive a birthday wish of some sort from her, an e-mail, a call, a message on the answering machiene, nothing. The rest of the letter will probly disscus some of the things I've been feeling for her latly, and some of the things that I think she has been feeling for me latly. Well that's all for now, ta ta until later. Current Mood: curious Current Music: Evanessence - Bring Me To Life (1 Comment |Comment on this)
Thursday, February 5th, 2004
9:34 pm	tonight Well tomarrow's another day and hopefully I won't die in my sleep tonight so that I can't see it. I'm pretty sure that I will survive, now how awake I am may be a different thing. I'll probly stay up late tonight watching Adult Swim but at the same time I will be thinking about Alison. I'll probly start writting that letter I've been planning...I'll talk more about that tomarrow. I don't know when I'm going to burn that CD though, and I'm still wondering if I should put that one song on there. To get most of you out of the dark I burned a CD a couple of weeks ago with a bunch of songs that reminded me of Alison. The next to last song was one by Aerosmith called "Hole in My Soul" the things is that it's not really a positive song, it really talks about a realtionship that is going stale and I don't know if that is the message that I want to send right now...I don't know I guess I'll dwell on it a little longer. If you want to know what the other songs are let me know, I don't want to burden you with information that you do not want to know. Well that's all for tonight, well at least in here. Until tomarrow may you dream of all of those that make your heart go "pitter-patter." Current Mood: worried Current Music: Brian Adams - (Everything I Do) I do it For You (Comment on this)
11:30 am	Steal 1. WHAT IS YOUR FULL NAME? Raymond Marklove Hickey III 2. WHAT COLOR PANTS ARE YOU WEARING? Pajama Bottems...Red and black 3. WHAT ARE YOU LISTENING TO RIGHT NOW? Sportscenter 4.WHAT ARE THE LAST 4 DIGITS OF YOUR PHONE NUMBER? 3301 5.WHAT WAS THE LAST THING YOU ATE? Pudding 6 IF YOU WERE A CRAYON, WHAT COLOR WOULD YOU BE? Nether Void...all though I suppose that's not a color...ummmm....orange? 7. HOW IS THE WEATHER RIGHT NOW? Inside don't care 8. LAST PERSON YOU TALKED TO ON THE PHONE? Kayla 9. FIRST THING YOU NOTICE ABOUT THE OPPOSITE SEX? Hair 10. DO YOU LIKE THE PERSON WHO SENT YOU THIS? Uhhh...Tim's cool and all and I like him...but not in that sort of way 11. HOW ARE YOU TODAY? Alive 12. FAVORITE DRINK? Guinness, Guinness, Guinness... 13. FAVORITE ALCOHOLIC DRINK? Guinness, Guinness, Guinness... 14. FAVORITE SPORTS? Basketball, golf, occasionally football, soccer, but most definatly NOT curling. 15. HAIR COLOR? Brown 16. EYE COLOR? Blue/Grey 17. DO YOU WEAR CONTACTS? Nope, perfect vision 18. ANY SIBLINGS? THEIR NAMES AND AGES? Sister, Anastacia, 28 19. FAVORITE MONTH? February 20. FAVORITE FOOD? Chocolate 21. LAST MOVIE YOU WATCHED? Tears of the Sun 22. FAVORITE DAY OF THE YEAR? June 8th? I don't know...lwhat a stupid question. 23. ARE YOU TOO SHY TO ASK SOMEONE OUT? Sort of kind of not really, just hate getting shot down. 24. SUMMER OR WINTER? Summer 25. HUGS OR KISSES? Hugs 26. RELATIONSHIPS OR ONE NIGHT STANDS? Relationships!!!! 27. CHOCOLATE OR VANILLA? Chocolate 28. WANT YOUR FRIENDS TO WRITE BACK? Um....Ok 29. WHO IS MOST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ?????? 30. WHO IS LEAST LIKELY TO RESPOND? ?????? 31. Living ARRANGEMENTS? Can't complain too much 32. WHAT BOOKS ARE YOU READING? The Darksteel Eye by Jess Lebow, second book in the Mirrodin Cycle 33. WHAT'S ON YOUR MOUSE PAD? Dell 34. FAVORITE BOARD GAME? Chess 35. WHAT DID YOU DO LAST NIGHT? Watched Adult Swim 36. FAVORITE SMELLS? Alison 37. CAN YOU TOUCH YOUR NOSE WITH YOUR TONGUE? No 38. WHAT INSPIRES YOU? Love 39. PLAIN, OR SALTED POPCORN? I don't care for Popcorn 41.FAVORITE FLOWER? Rose 42. HOW MANY KEYS ON YOUR KEY RING? 5 43. CAN YOU JUGGLE? Nope 44. FAVORITE DAY(s) OF THE WEEK? Third one from the left after the fifth one from the right 45. RED OR WHITE WINE? White 46. WHAT DID YOU DO FOR YOUR LAST BIRTHDAY? Sat at home and waited for Friday to drink...stupid 21st birthday on a monday. 47. DO YOU CARRY A DONOR CARD? No 48. LIFETIME GOALS? Love and a Family 49. WHAT IS THE FIRST THING YOU THINK OF WHEN YOU WAKE UP IN THE MORNING? Alison 50. FAVORITE TV SHOW? I don't know... 51. WORST HOUSEHOLD JOB? Cleaning the bathroom 52. SOMETHING YOU WANT TO DO BEFORE YOU DIE? Have sex 53. FAVORITE DISNEY MOVIE? Cool Runnings was done by Disney, right? 54. How many kids do you want to have? 2 55. Favorite holiday? Ground Hogs Day 56. Favorite clothing store? J.C. Penny 57. Most relaxing thing to do? Relax (1 Comment |Comment on this)
11:09 am	Today Well today is today I suppose, but I guess that's kind of known by all. Yesterday was fun, I spent most of the day with Kayla, which was nice, it was really the first time since her first going away party that I didn't feel like I wanted to ask her out. I think that she is finally in that little sister area for me. It's nice although now I'm a little afraid of being over protective and I know she doesn't need it. It's nice though considering the only other person whom wasn't family that I had that Brother sister relationsship with was Claudia, and I haven't talked to her in a long time. It's also good becasue Kayla told me yesterday that she thinks of me as a brother, so I guess it all worked out in the end. The other nice thing about yesterday was that Kayla gave me some advice on Alison, and it may be the first time in awhile that I will take advice on the whole Alison situatuion...the only problem now is finding time in my scedual and Alison's schedual so that we can see each other for at least long enough for me to give her what I want to. Well that's all for now. (Comment on this)